"Hoarding" and Forgiveness

Perhaps you saw the story in the paper last week. I'm thinking about the one about the 67 year old Las Vegas woman who went missing last April. She was finally found, by her husband inside her own home -- under a pile of debris. After being reported missing by her husband back in April (that's four months ago), an extensive search was conducted including bringing sniffer dogs tinto the home and to the area immediately adjacent to it. The problem was that there was so much odor inside the home (from her obsessive hoarding) that the dogs were unable to pick up her scent. Apparently Billie Jean James had been in the room she called her "rabbit hole" when items squirreled away there collapsed on her.

It is a sad story. It must have been a sad existence. But there are others who have died beneath the weight of their hoarding.

Most of us are not in danger from that kind of hoarding. We are much more in danger of stockpiling resentments, grudges, slights and our own misguided perceptions of others. These kinds of things are everywhere: in traffic, when someone gets the promotion or position that we think we deserved, when someone doesn't do the job our way, which is of course much better. We find them when someone gives us bad news about a budget cut or layoff, ends a relationship, takes advantage of us or uses us for their own ends. You see this list could go on and on.

There is a piece of our humanity that leads us to hoard these offenses. We might take our anger out on a family member or other innocent party. We might be cool to someone and keep them at a distance. We might choose not to make the first move to greet that other person, or secretly hope they "get what is coming to them." We might be angry or sad most of the time. Our friends might notice that we are withdrawn, moody or distracted.

You see, these are the signs of human hoarding of emotions, resentments, slights and perceived injustices. These are the signs that we are slowly being smothered under the weight of emotional hoarding.

These things are better let go of than stored away. If you think you've been mistreated, deal with it directly in terms of a conversation (no e-mail or texts of this kind of stuff). Maybe it won't be resolved, but it is healthier than hoarding. For many things, it is better just to let them go. To walk away. To "dump" them in to a journal or letter that is then destroyed. To move on with your life.

In the end refusing to let go and walk away from the resentments and offenses that we want to hoard, will harm our spirit and leave us under the control of another.

Paul gave this advice in Colossians 3: "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you."